The ant work’s hard in the
withering heat all summer long, building his House and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why
the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate are cold and
starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next
to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such
wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah
with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being
Green". Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house, where the
news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome".
Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the
back of the grasshopper and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
"fair share". Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act" retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to
hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay
his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against
the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a
list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food
while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is
taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!